


To Hurt and to Heal

by Sirrah



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Interrogation, M/M, Magical Healing Cock, No for real, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, but not in depressing way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5279909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirrah/pseuds/Sirrah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mission was succeed; in a way. We know that time will heal but is it supposed to take this long?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kakashi felt the familiar tinglish sensation somewhere near his spine at the exact same moment as his kunai sliced open the throat of a young watchninja. The body never hit the ground as it was supported by the strong arms of a silver haired shinobi from Konoha. Gathering the lithe body to his arms, Kakashi silently backed away to the shelter of the woods. There he lowered the body to the ground and after couple of hand seals it looked more like an old snag than a human body. Few seals after, Kakashi could once again see a watchninja, exactly the same looking as the one he had just eliminated, standing in front of the old forest cabin.

The transformed clone wasn't actually a necessary. In fact, it would be better if the rogue ninjas inside saw the missing watch, because then they might send a man or two to look after him which would mean Kakashi could eliminate them smoothly and safely one by one. The clone didn't actually ruin this plan, but it wasn't certainly needed. The reason why Kakashi had decided to waste chakra for this needles thing was because he wanted to know why he had felt the return of his chakra a moment ago. 

It was most likely just Pakkun that had unsummoned back to him which already made the situation interesting because Kakashi didn't even know somebody else than he could possibly do that. Other than that, he was also very eager to get every detail from Iruka's mission to retrieve Mizuki, which had been the reason he had lend his best trace-dog in the first place. 

One might wonder a little why the so called cold bastard like Kakashi wanted or cared to know some boring details of some chuunin's mission. Kakashi himself wasn't one of those. He didn't even try to fool himself to think that he didn't like the former teacher of his first and at the moment, only genin team. He was a good enough ninja to keep his mind simple by not lying to himself so he could concentrate to his missions and live yet another week.

And the reason why the rest of the world didn't know his attraction to the academy teacher was because he didn't have any intention to admit it to them. Not even to the subject of his attraction. He wasn't afraid to admit it, he was afraid the possible positive outcome of this admission. Iruka wasn't a person who could just have some random sex and then avoid the one night stand the rest of his life. And even if he was, Kakashi knew he wouldn't be able to do that. Not with Iruka. 

From the first time Kakashi had acknowledged his crush to Iruka he had known he couldn't do anything about it. His feelings were already strong enough even if they were hardly friends. Taking a lover and maybe even a life partner like Iruka to his life would mean that he or him would eventually make a mistake of thinking the other in a mission too much and that would eventually cost their lives. Not to mention the unbearable grief that would come if either of them was lost in the battle. Or worse, used against each other in the battle.

So, for a mere second Kakashi thought the idea of not summoning Pakkun but then again, the curiosity and doubt would nag his mind the rest of the evening if he didn't find out just how well Iruka had managed. It didn't take many hand seals to summon the pug faced Pakkun with a small puff.

"What took you so long", Pakkun said with a cross face that Kakashi had only once heard called cute by a kunoichi. Kakashi merely shrugged his shoulders and instead of answering, scratched lazily his spiky hair.

"Soooo~ Mission succeeded then?" Kakashi said nonchalantly hiding well the obvious curious behind his words.

"Not even in your standards", Pakkun snorted.

"He didn't catch Mizuki?" Kakashi asked hoping that was the case instead of something that involved very pale and bloody Iruka.

"Oh, he caught him. Or at least that lapcat was unconscious when that sickenly nice friend of yours unsummoned me back. Which reminds me that you shouldn't reveal all your ninja tricks for your lays", Pakkun said with accusing eyes.

"Iruka unsummoned you?" Kakashi said without even trying to hide his surprise.

"Yeah, like that would help anything".

"What do you mean?"

"Just that the friend of yours is either some sort of martyr or he really cares you. Knowing your personality it must be the first."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi said more than little worried without realizing that he was repeating himself.

"If that lad had wanted to save himself, he should have had sent me back to the village to fetch some help but nooo~ He starts this ramble with how I wouldn't stand a chance if the enemy attacked and how my captivity might somehow harm you or reveal some your ultra secret ninja tricks that anyone who is willing to sleep with you could get anyway", Pakkun said with a great annoyance in his voice.

"You mean Iruka fell…" Kakashi said, his mind already starting to turn numb from realization.

"And just were did you leave your brain. How on earth he could have unsummon me if he was dead", Pakkun said with a roll of his eyes making the huge stone in Kakashi's chest vanish. "Of course now he is probably dead"

And the stone was back.

"You don't know that”, Kakashi said defensively, but received only an annoyingly knowing look from Pakkun so he felt his argument need little more support

“You’ve seen it yourself. Iruka is much stronger than what he looks like. His wits are excellent and his chakra control is near perfect. I bet the back-up team has already fetched him and he is nicely recovering in the hospital right now", Kakashi said forcing himself a little to believe in his own words. And just what had he a second ago assured to himself; that he was good enough ninja not to lie himself.

"What back up team? We found a nasty surprise that Mizuki wasn't as alone as he should have been. I'm not even sure if that chuunin and those Genins are able to defeat those huge friends of Mizuki's let alone find that friend of yours after the rain wiped most of the tracks away. The lad is all alone and I think he used the last of his chakra to send me back here. Now was that a stupid thing to do or not", Pakkun said with a very questioning and daring look in his small eyes.

So that's for the nice safe 'one by one' plan.

 

***

Iruka was now in the point where he had to force his eyelids to stay open. Not that he could see much of anything anyway when his vision was mostly covered by veil of red blood that was dripping on his face somewhere from his head; maybe from his temple. There was still a chance that some of the escaped prisoners would wander here or worse, that Mizuki would wake up from his unconscious. So he had to stay awake; if not to fight then at least to take his own life if the occasion called for it.

It had always been one of the most difficult things he had to teach to his students, but now, when he himself was in the situation that he really might have to take his own life, it didn't feel such a scary thought as it has felt in the class room. He didn't have any advanced bloodline jutsus in his blood, so it wasn't nearly as bad if the enemy got his dead body than if they had caught him alive. Caught alive would mean very nasty interrogations and just the reminding of the 'surviving enemy interrogations' teaching he had gone through years ago, reminded him that there was a possibility that he would eventually crack. Not that he eagerly wanted the pain either.

So once again Iruka forced his heavy eyelids to stay open as he sat on the wet ground, supported by a firm treetrunk. The rain had kept Iruka awake but now that it had stopped it became more and more tempting to let go and fall to the darkness from which he might never wake up again. 

But then he heard it. Squelching sound of someone’s sandals against the wet ground, not very far away from him. Iruka didn't even try to hide his chakra. First of all he was on a very open place so he was easy to spot and second, he didn’t have much chakra to hide anyway. So instead, Iruka grabbed one of his three kunais that were left and tried to focus his sight to that direction in the woods, where he heard the ever closing sound of sandals.

It didn't take long for the owner of those sandals to step out of the woods to the open area where Iruka was leaning heavily against the treetrunk. In a blink of an eye Iruka had thrown one of the kunais towards the figure, not surprised at all when his target catch it straight up from the air. It did surprise him that the figure actually stopped.

"Now this wasn't actually the kind of reward I hoped I would receive when I decide to come and rescue you", a voice that sounded like Kakashi's said. The enemy must have been fool to think he would fall to a trick like that. Even if Iruka's mind felt dizzy he could still think straight enough to realize that there was no chance that Kakashi could be really standing in front of him when he was supposed to be on a mission somewhere else. Or that he would ever make as much noise as the man in front of him had made.

Kakashi had halted his steps when Iruka had thrown the kunai against him. How stupid for him to think that the wounded Iruka was going to be easy to approach. He smiled to himself and took a step closer but the words that were going to come out of his mouth vanished along with his intentions of advancing when he saw Iruka lift his kunai. 

"Wait, it's me... and besides you're in no condition to even throw those around, let alone hit one with", Kakashi said hiding his deep concern behind the usual sarcasm.

"I have... no intention... to attack", Iruka said breathlessly staring challenging the imposter in front of him. His movement slowed by the loss of blood and strength were still fast enough to bring the kunai to his own neck before the ninja in front him could get to him. For Iruka's great surprise the Kakashi looking man stayed put, a horrid shock shining from his only visible eye.

"Iruka, wait", Kakashi nearly screamed backing away unconsciously. His instincts were far more useful at the moment since his heart had nearly stopped from the sight of Iruka attempting to take his own life.

"It's me. I'm here to get you back to the village", Kakashi said trying to control himself. He needed himself sharp and sober if he were to convince Iruka that he was not under enemy attack.

"You really... think... I'm easy", Iruka said with somewhat self pleased smile. "You can't be... Kakashi".

"And why's that?" Kakashi said rising an eyebrow. He was dealing with Iruka here. With enough reasoning he could prove him that he really was Kakashi and the sooner that happened the sooner he could get him safe.

"I noticed you... approaching... I'd never... Kakashi", Iruka said the hand holding the kunai on his throat shaking from the stress and exhaustion.

"There was no reason for me to hide my steps. There was only one unknown chakra inside miles and that was unconscious one. I wanted to get to you as soon as possible", Kakashi said honestly, relaxing a bit. The last thing he wanted to do now was to look threatening.

"Your intelligence... work better... Kakashi isn't... here", Iruka said straining his strength and getting a better hold of the kunai. He really should just do it. There was no point of dragging this any longer.

"What do you mean I shouldn't be here? You send for me for yourself", Kakashi said watching the dreaded kunai shaking on Iruka's hand.

"I... send?" Iruka asked little puzzled.

"Yes. And I would really like to know how you were able to unsummon Pakkun. But we can discuss that when we get you back to the village", Kakashi said, sure his reasoning had went through.  
An unsure and doubting frown swept over Iruka’s bloody face until it finally melt to a small relieved smile and his hand dropped from his neck.

"Kakashi... yokatta", was all Iruka was able to say before his strength gave in and his eyes lid close while his body start sliding the treetrunk. He never hit the wet ground though, because Kakashi's strong arms were there to support him. His fingers found the weak pulse on Iruka's neck, too weak considering the distance they had to travel before getting back to the village and the wonderful medical centre of it that would be able to bring the color back to Iruka's white face.

"I'm sorry for this", Kakashi whispered almost soundlessly, pulled his face cloth down to his chin and kissed the lips of the now limb man in his lap. Even though Iruka's lips were cold and he could taste the blood inside his mouth, small warmth swept over Kakashi when he realized he was finally doing the thing he had denied from himself for so long. Of course this was only the PG-rated part of what he really desired. One could never guess how well the heterosexual situations in 'Icha Icha Paradise' could be applied to homosexual ones.

But even though many of the people who knew him wouldn't have been too surprised to find him molesting the unconscious academy teacher, it wasn't the case in this time. All though that was really tempting. No. Pouring his own chakra in to Iruka through the kiss was the only way to keep the gentle man in his lap alive. He was no med-ninja and could do nothing but hope that Iruka actually accepted the intruding chakra.

Ending the kiss way too early for his own liking, but even little over timed for the needed chakra transfer, Kakashi pulled back, placing his face cloth back. He once again placed his finger in Iruka's neck and waited. After what felt like the longest seconds in his life, he could feel the pulse getting stronger, steadier, making him sigh for relief.

Kakashi was already lifting Iruka up, in every intentions of getting him back to the village and more importantly, to the hospital, when he remembered Mizuki. The man was still an unmoving pile on the muddy ground, but he might not be that for long. For a second Kakashi was torn between his duties a soldier of Konoha and his own emotions, but that lasted only an blink of an eye, before the solution came to him.

Studying the unconscious chuunin, Kakashi traced his fingers over the damp clothes, examining the injuries the man had suffered. There were various cuts on his limps as well as on his chest and side and an ugly wound on his temple, but none of them was bleeding furiously. Kakashi was happy to learn that there weren't any broken bones, so Iruka would survive even if he had to hang him over his shoulder. The journey back would be little harsh but that way he could get them both back without having to compromise neither his heart or his job.

When picking up Iruka on his shoulder he revealed another injure that he hadn't noticed on his first examination. Even if Iruka's trousers were wet and muddy, Kakashi, having seen enough blood stains for a couple of lifetimes, could easily separate the dark spots on the back of them. 

This mission had really been far from a successful one.


	2. Chapter 2

“Studious as ever I can see”, Kakashi said, peeking over Sakura’s shoulder to her pile of books and scrolls that were spread all over her huge desk. He got only a vague mumble for an answer.

“Sooo~ heard anything of that old sensei of yours”, Kakashi asked nonchalantly, stealing a corner of Sakura’s desk and picking up one of the books to his hands, eyeing it lazily. One could have never guessed that this small talk was actually well planned and the sole purpose of he being here now was that he could fish some information of Iruka’s condition.

It had been a week already since the more or less disastrous mission of Iruka and five days since he had last time seen the cute chuunin. Visiting him more than once in the hospital would have been way too suspicious, so the past days he had been hanging around the village, having more interaction with the people than he usually had in months. He hadn’t even needed to pry much since Iruka’s condition had actually been the talk of the week almost everywhere in the village. It seemed that almost everyone in the village had either been tutored by Iruka, had their kids tutored by him or knew him from somewhere else and every one of them was deeply concerned of him.

Unfortunately for him, most of the people knew even less than he did; there were even wild rumors of missing limbs and mental breakdowns running wild. From his own observation, he knew the rumors were far from the truth. When he had seen Iruka in the hospital, he had already been awake and the healthy tan had come back to his face. He had still been ordered to stay in the bed but that hadn’t stopped the chuunin to do some work in the mean time. Besides all the flowers and gifts in the room, Iruka’s bed had been full of scrolls and papers, most of them having various red marks in them that told the patient was ignoring the ‘rest’ part in his doctor’s orders.

So here he was now, making excuses to come and see Tsunade in order to see Sakura. She was the only one in his team still left in the village and since they all knew how dearly Naruto felt of Iruka, she was probably visiting his sick bed daily in the place of her teammate.

“No. Not anything good at least”, Sakura said with a deep concerned frown on her temple that she used to try and hide so much.

“Really? I though he was getting better”, Kakashi asked laying the book down and mostly dropping his lazy act. The tone of Sakura’s voice didn’t sound good at all.

“He is. From most parts”, Sakura said rubbing her eyes that Kakashi now noticed were slightly bloodshed and had a sign of dark circles under them.

“Most parts?” Kakashi asked standing up, the worry slightly getting a hold of his voice.

Sakura left the book she was studying alone and turned her tired face to Kakashi’s hidden one. She took a small unsure glance of Tsunade who was talking with some kunoichi few feet away.

“He has some… parts that have trouble of healing”, Sakura said, her face taking slightly the same color her hair had, before turning quickly back to her studies.

Kakashi turned his head to Tsunade just in time to catch her from eavesdropping. Soon she seemed to finish her business with the kunoichi, sending her away.

“Sakura, could you be a darling and take this to Hitome-sama. He should have the potion prepared already”, Tsunade said handing a scroll to already up Sakura.

It wasn’t until she had left the room and they were alone in the room that Kakashi started. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just like Sakura said; some of Iruka’s injuries aren’t healing like they should. But we’re working on that so there’s no need to worry. It’s actually good you came by, because I could use your skills in this…”

“So you’re saying it’s an infection or something like that?” Kakashi said, rudely interrupting his hokage.

Tsunade looked up curiously from his papers at one of his most skilled ninja. In this small time that she had been the kage of Konoha, Kakashi had always acted strictly professional when dealing with work and mostly bored when interacting socially. So hearing this much passion, impatience and worry in the voice of the man who seemed intact in every situation was indeed extremely curious.

“That we have excluded out”.

“Then what is it?” Kakashi asked impatiently. He was aware in some level that his cover was faltering but at that point keeping his act up seemed like the most insignificant thing one could do. He just wanted to know what was wrong with Iruka and more importantly, what could they do to help him.

“We really don’t know at this point”, Tsunade started but since the look on Kakashi’s only visible eye clearly demanded more she couldn’t leave it like that. “His body has healed completely except for the casualties of his… sexual assault. We don’t know if it’s a jutsu or poison or something entirely else that is preventing his body from healing in that part, but we are working with it. Sakura has barely slept in the past few days, trying to come up with a counter-jutsu or cure. His condition is in no way life-threatening all though it must be really uncomfortable when his… insides aren’t healing”

“I assume his condition is Mizuki’s doings?” Kakashi started and continued without bothering to wait Tsunade’s answer. “So ask him what he did. That’s why we have him in the custody, right? To acquire information”.

“True, but we have an undergoing investigation going on that is more urgent at the moment than Iruka’s condition”, Tsunade said lowering her face back to her papers. “As for the mission I mentioned, I need you to… ”

But as Tsunade raised her eyes to meet Kakashi once again she noticed she had spoken to mere air.

 

***

“You! I need the prisoner number 257498 to be brought here”, Kakashi said, his chilly voice giving the young watch-ninja a nice jump.

“Yes, sir!” The young boy squealed and started to run away but stopped after few steps.

“Ummm… I need the permission from Ibiki-sama before…”

“Well that’s a shame since he’s unattainable at the moment”, Kakashi said with a harsh voice. He had made sure of that by finally using the favor Anko owed him and making her to ask the head of AMBU interrogation and torture department to go and have lunch with her. 

“Now bring that prisoner”, Kakashi said icily again and stepped inside the interrogation room three on his left, knowing the young ninja was already running to fulfill his command.

The smell of blood and sweat was hanging heavy on the air of the dimly lit room. Kakashi had to admit that he felt little guilty invading Ibiki-sama’s space like this, but there was really no way around it. If Tsunade wasn’t ready to ask the right questions, Ibiki-sama would be like that too. He just hoped he could live up to Ibiki-sama’s skills and get the answer dug out of Mizuki.

It was good that bringing Mizuki seemed to take some while. For probably in the first of his life he actually needed some time to gain the control of himself. The fact that Mizuki had used the oldest humiliation and power tool against Iruka shouldn’t make a soldier like him upset at all. Hell, Iruka himself had took it like it had been just a part of the fight; just like him and any well trained soldier would take it if it happened to oneself. The fact that Kakashi was ready to rip Mizuki’s head off for even touching his kind hearted chuunin, must meant he really did care about Iruka: probably even more than he had realized.

And now he was on verge of meeting the very man that had besides hurt Iruka, also done something else that made the man he cared most suffer. It really took all Kakashi’s will power to calm him down enough to meet Mizuki face to face

But as the young watch-ninja brought the silver haired chuunin to the interrogation room, Kakashi found it actually easy to jump to the safety of his cold, heartless role of a top class jounin. He sat quietly the whole time that the young ninja needed to sit Mizuki down and unlock his shackles. There was no need to restrain him in any way. There was no chance for a prisoner like him to get out alive from the hands of a shinobi with class like Kakashi had.

It wasn’t until the ninja escorting Mizuki into the interrogation room left that one of them spoke.

“Sooo~ Ibiki already got bored with me?” Mizuki asked with a voice that tried to sound amused but to his ears, sound only stretched and tense.

For few seconds, Kakashi only watched the sorry excuse of a man in front of him. It seemed Ibiki-sama had already used a nice amount of techniques to the chuunin, but from the cold ‘no’ from Tsunade, it seemed the man had not yet broken. He just hoped that whatever he wasn’t ready to tell under Ibiki-sama’s torture was far more important than the mystery of Iruka’s inability to heal properly. 

“My name is Hatake Kakashi and I’m here for the investigation of the events that followed after the escape of a prisoner number 257498. Would you please state your name for the record”, Kakashi said expressionless. The room had auto-record, so if he were here to oppose the rules of interrogation at least he would do it by the book.

“Toji Mizuki”, the silver haired chuunin said without objections. 

Good. The man already knew what happened if he didn’t answer.

“During your escape, you confronted heavy resistance in the form of a shinobi called Umino Iruka, correct”, Kakashi continued, still keeping his voice as colorless as his expression.

“I confronted little” resistance”, Mizuki corrected his voice tensing.

“The named chuunin was able to cease your escape and bring you back was he not? I would call that heavy resistance”, Kakashi said, allowing some mocking to his voice. As if a man with Mizuki’s talent could even think looking down to his Iruka.

“That was just luck. Besides his resistance has always been very weak. This was no exception”, Mizuki said, actually broad enough to smile smugly.

For powers he didn’t even know to possess, Kakashi was able to keep his voice and face stern for both Mizuki’s answer as well as for his next question. “During this resistance, you sexually assaulted Umino Iruka, did you not?”

“I fucked him if those fancy words were supposed to mean th~aaargh!” Mizuki started with that smugly grin but ended with squall. He hadn’t even noticed Kakashi to pull one of his kunai, let alone been able draw his hand out of the way. His eyes just barely caught Kakashi’s next movements, but he was still too slow to actually react to them.

“Oh, but I don’t think that was all you did, Mizu-bo”, Kakashi hissed in a low, dangerous voice that chilled the air they were breathing. He had seized Mizuki’s left hand the way it only needed little struggle or some force from him to break it and one swift kick had flown the chair Mizuki had sat, to the other corner of the room, forcing Mizuki on his knees. His right hand though was still pinned to the table by Kakashi’s kunai.

“Of course I~ngh”, Mizuki started, but his coming answer was cut by Kakashi’s right hand that pulled his kunai towards them, making a nice inch long cut to the table and - needles to say - Mizuki’s hand.

“We know you fancy all kinds of nice drugs and poisons so what was it, some blood dilution poison? We all know your genjutsu could never fool Iruka’s body this long”, Kakashi said, drawing the kunai yet another half inches towards him.

For his great shock, Mizuki answered this by a laugh - pained laugh but a laugh still.

“So he’s suffering then? That means my little gift will remind him of me for some ti~aarh!” Mizuki said but was surprisingly again cut by Kakashi action - the pain of those actions turning him to white and making him scream like an animal.

Mizuki was tuck from his collar up and against the wall where Kakashi held him tightly from the neck. Both of his arms were hanging injured on his sides - other’s bones broken and the other’s palm ripped in half. The med-ninja’s would have some excellent training material after Kakashi was through with the chuunin whose only matching quality with him was the hair color.

“If he was actually suffering I would have already skinned you out”, Kakashi said, his voice so calm it felt like it was ripping your spine off and his kunai in his right hand traveling dangerously close to Mizuki's private parts. "Now would you like to tell me what exactly that thing you did to Iruka was? I'm sure even the most talented med-ninja could not stitch this back together".

Kakashi never knew if Mizuki would have answered his question or not, because that was the time Ibiki-sama opened the door to the interrogation room 3.

"We thank you Hatake-sama for your efforts. I think I will continue from this", Ibiki said with a stern voice. Kakashi couldn't feel anything out of ordinary from the master torturer and interrogation captain, but he knew the man well enough to lay his hands off from Mizuki, letting him fall to the stony floor.

He left Mizuki silently and was already on the door when he heard the pained but yet pleased voice of his behind him. "If this place taught me something it’s how to make something to yours only. And you're never going to get anything from Iruka. Not unless you force it. And I doubt there's enough man in you to go that far".

And with that, the door closed between them.


	3. Chapter 3

"Just a minute!" was Iruka's quick answer as he heard the loud knock from his door and as quickly he put down a pile of books and scrolls he had gathered to his arms. He winced slightly as his bruised side stretch in the process. Maybe there really was some sense in the doctor’s order for him to take it easy for awhile.

That thought left alone, Iruka stepped out of his bedroom and hurried through his living room, to his front door. He wasn’t at all surprised to hear the knock on the door; after all it seemed half the Konoha village had some urgent need to come check every fifth minute if he was okay. What actually did surprise him was to find the lazy looking Kakashi behind his door.

“Aaa~ Kakashi-sama, what a pleasant surprise”, Iruka said politely, but not necessarily truthfully. Kakashi’s showing up on his doorsteps reminded him that he had not yet thanked the man for saving his life. A thing he hoped he could have put some thought of before actually doing it. How Kakashi-like to ruin a simple thing like that by just showing up.

“Mmm… Kakashi-sama, I don’t know how to thank you…” Iruka started, but was cut of by Kakashi’s raised hand. 

“Inviting me in could be a start”, Kakashi said, and before Iruka could open his door full, Kakashi had passed him in to his living room.

“Can I get you some tea”, Iruka asked, not entirely sure how he should react to Kakashi’s bluntness. 

“Sake would be better, if you have any”.

“I think I can find some”, Iruka said; glad to have some excuse to leave the other man, even if just for a second. 

Few minutes later, Iruka returned to Kakashi’s company, carrying a tray with two cups and an un-opened bottle of sake. It was slightly too early for sake if asked him, but for courtesy, he too would of course drink a cup. And if being truthful, Iruka had an uneasy feeling he might actually need the small amount of alcohol. Placing the tray on the kotatsu, by witch Kakashi had relaxingly seated himself; Iruka kneeled beside him, his slight wince being un-noticeable if one hadn’t been exactly looking it. 

And Kakashi was.

“Your insides still not healing?” Kakashi asked bluntly, making Iruka spill the drink he was pouring.

“H-how do you…” Iruka stammered wide eyed, but Kakashi’s serious look on his only visible eye made him swallow his embarrassment and collect himself. “No”, he simply answered, excusing himself for having to look the other man by focusing on the sake he had once already spilled.

Kakashi said nothing back and Iruka was glad he did not continue on this topic. He could very well handle the things that had happened with Mizuki as long as the number of people knowing about it stayed as little as possible. Giving Kakashi first his own cup, Iruka drowned his own, just like he had foreseen. After a small uncomfortable silence, Iruka was forced to draw his eyes from the surface of the kotatsu, just to be captured by the unusually intense stare of Kakashi’s visible eye.

Iruka was already reaching for a refill, just to get away from the stare of his colleague, when Kakashi’s voice stopped him.

“We found out what’s keeping you from healing”.

“Y-you did?” Iruka asked unsure. The news was greatly welcomed of course, he just hoped it would have been somebody, anybody, else than Kakashi telling it.

“Yeah, it’s a seal”.

“A seal?” That was unexpected, Iruka thought, still slightly self-conscious about the fact that he was actually talking with Kakashi about the state of his… private parts. 

“Apparently very commonly used one among the Konoha prisoners. It is actually very easy sealing jutsu, made with natural chakra release that happens during release. Which is of course the only way it could be made since all ‘un-natural’ chakra release is sealed away in the prison. Fascinating isn’t it?” Kakashi asked with risen eyebrow, as if they were discussing just some clever jutsu that had just unrevealed its secrets to them. Which they actually were, but since it was the result of his humiliating sexual assault and the reason why simple things like sitting and walking were uncomfortable as hell, Iruka couldn’t really share the casual conversation tone with Kakashi.

“Really. What about cure? Has the research team come up with one now?” Iruka asked hopefully.

“No”, was the simple answer that shot down Iruka’s hopes for quick recovery. 

Kakashi, seeing how his blunt answer managed to depress Iruka, even though he tried to hide it, voiced now the thing, why they had decided it would be him who tells the news to Iruka. Or actually he had convinced Sakura that the cure would be so embarrassing that it would traumatize Iruka for life, so it would be better not to even suggest it. Of course Kakashi had only said this so that if he actually was ready to try the cure, he would be the one doing it, not some med-nin stranger. The mare though of that scenario gave him the chills.

“Or actually they haven’t yet come up with another cure”.

“Another? Meaning there is already one… what are the risks in it?” Iruka asked, getting his hopes slightly up. Because even though his current condition was not in any way serious, it was uncomfortable. And more than anything, he wanted to get back to work, back to his normal life, where he could forget and bury the things his former comrade, former friend had done to him. And that wouldn’t happen as long as the slight, sharp pain radiated to his lower back on every step he took.

“Risks; none. Pain; a lot…” Kakashi started, but was cut abruptly. 

“I can deal the pain”, Iruka said firmly, straightening his pose. Every shinobi in the village was accustomed to pain almost before they learned to walk. If Kakashi though that just because he hadn’t been on that many missions in the past years, he was somehow unable to take the pain, he was wrong.

“How about shame?” Kakashi’s asked, catching Iruka off guard. But before he could answer anything Kakashi continued. “Could you go all the way through Mizuki’s assault again if it healed you?”

“Yes”, Iruka answered quickly. Too quickly.

“Really?” Kakashi asked his voice oddly low and musky, making Iruka’s mouth dry and hands sweat for some odd reason. Not able to hold the gaze with Kakashi’s intense stare, Iruka lowered his eyes to his lap, thinking through his answer this time. Could he do it again, this time more than less willingly, if it meant he could then put this all behind him and be back in his class with his kids first thing tomorrow morning?

“Yes”, Iruka answered, his determined gaze meeting Kakashi.

“Shall we go then?” Kakashi asked standing up and taking a few steps towards Iruka’s bedroom, before he could get up and voice his shock.

“Wait, where are you going?” Iruka asked puzzled as he hurried up to prevent Kakashi entering his bedroom.

“To your room of course, it will be much comfortable on a bed”, Kakashi explained patiently. 

“With you?” Iruka asked, not sure if he was following Kakashi’s trail of though. He though they would need Mizuki… but if it was instead the act and Kakashi was… the though made Iruka suddenly feel the blood rising to his cheeks.

“You have somebody else in mind?” Kakashi asked, suddenly sounding oddly colorless. Iruka was sure he was glowing like the lambs on the red light district, but still managed a slight shake of head.

“Then isn’t it better if I do it in your own house’s privacy than that it is done by some white coat with colleagues hovering around”, Kakashi asked relieved. His secret fear had always been that Iruka had already someone waiting to be in his life. Now he at least knew there were no male competitors for him.

The fact that Iruka had actually considered to be taken by Mizuki again meant he didn’t really care who did it as long as it meant he could move forward. But thinking the two scenarios, the one in his own did actually sound better, even if it was done by Kakashi. Not that there was anything wrong with him, on the contrary. The fact that the man had intrigued him since the first day they met, made him think the upcoming event more nervously than he maybe had if it had been anyone else than Kakashi. And with this thought, came a question that should have come to his mind a lot sooner.

“Kakashi, why are you here, offering to help me with this”, Iruka asked, his question halting Kakashi’s steps towards his bedroom. 

“By a coincidence?” Kakashi asked, turning around lazily, showing his right hand to his pocket. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Iruka to know his true feelings just yet. At least not the whole truth. “As you might have known, I hold very little people even relatively dear to me. You happen to be very special to one of those few. And I did start this by bringing you back here from the woods so I guess I’m allowed to feel some concern to see this finished, am I right?”

“Sorry… for asking”, Iruka said feeling slightly embarrassed. And maybe disappointed? Not that he knew what kind of answer he had actually hoped to have.

Surrendering, Iruka followed Kakashi to his room, where a familiar mess greeted him. His other rooms were usually tidy, ready to the judging looks of some of his guests. But his private places were taken over by a cozy little mess. In the case of his bedroom, that meant various scrolls, books and clothes scattered around. 

As Kakashi went to the window and closed the blinds, Iruka closed the door behind them, the room turning from the golden orange to a more shady one since the setting sun was locked out. Iruka was already thinking of how to ask Kakashi, how they should proceed, when he saw the man unzipping his west and throwing it to the ground. At the first sight of bared skin of Kakashi’s abdomen, Iruka turned his eyes away, scared by the fact that for a second he had yearned to see even more. So instead of staring the other man undress, he quickly got out of his own shirt and pants.

Wearing now only his boxer shorts, Iruka was forced to move his gaze back on Kakashi; if for nothing else than to know what to do next. There might have been a question on Iruka’s mind, but if there was, he was never able to voice it. Kakashi’s lean, muscular frame was stretched over his bed, arranging his covers and pillows to a big bundle in the middle, as his naked back was colored gold by the few rays of the setting sun that got past the blinds. A sight that burned its image to Iruka’s mind and made his neck flush from different reasons than embarrassment.

As his body quickly reacted to the sight, Iruka suddenly became very aware of the fact that the only thing covering, concealing, him was a pair of boxer shorts. And aiming for the bad timing awards, that was the second Kakashi decided to face him again. And maybe it was because of the very state of his own body, Iruka was able to draw his eyes from Kakashi now fully exposed front and turn his back to him. He didn’t need instructors what to do next. Standing by his bed, he dropped his boxers only with slightly shaking hands and got on the bed, positioning himself on the bundle Kakashi had made.

“For this to work, I need to go bare. My last test was negative and I have not had sex since it so you don’t have to worry about that”, Kakashi said, crawling on the bed. He tried to ignore how painfully delicious Iruka looked there, ass raised high up, just waiting to be taken. There would be no problem to get him excited; that sight alone had made him painfully hard.

Iruka barely made a sound to this. Getting a sexual decease from Kakashi was the last thing on his mind right now. He couldn’t see Kakashi, deliberately facing the other way around than the jounin. But he could feel the mattress sunk when the other man came closer and he could feel the heat radiating from the other body. It made Iruka bury his face to his hands, while his erection, pressed against the pile of pillows, was silently answering the call of Kakashi’s body behind him.

It made Iruka jump when he felt cool, caressing touch against his spine. He was already turning around to face Kakashi when the other man spoke.

“Just relax… this isn’t going to be easy”, Kakashi said on a low, hushing voice. His long and strong fingers caressing massaged the muscles around Iruka’s spine and lower back. It took only for a few seconds for Iruka’s posture to relax and sunk deeper to the pile of pillows.

Iruka relaxed and let Kakashi’s touch carry him away. But as his muscles and tension went away, it gave room for his thoughts. One of them realized he was as relaxed as he could possibly get in this situation, but still Kakashi had made no move to proceed. Iruka turned around slightly, to see what was the other man doing. Wrong move. Iruka could feel the blood running from face to his groin and quickly turned back. Of course. Just because he was already hard from the mere look of naked Kakashi, didn’t mean the other man was too. It was only natural that he needed some help to get himself erect in a situation like this. But still, for all he saw a moment ago, Kakashi should be quite a ready right now.

Iruka waited a few minutes, but since still, nothing was happening, he voiced out his question: “Kakashi… shouldn’t we just…”

The hand on Iruka’s back stopped, somehow making Iruka unable to finish his sentence.

“Your rectum is covered by a foreign chakra wall. That wall is in direct touch with all the nerves in there. If anything is pressed against that chakra wall, it sends a jolt to those nerves, causing an indescribable pain. It doesn’t come down until a natural chakra release from a second party gets involved”, Kakashi said, without any emotion in his voice. His next words instead were so warm, that Iruka though he might have just fallen asleep and dreamed them “I don’t wish to cause you pain any longer than absolutely necessary”.

For this, Iruka rose up. He was confused and just hearing Kakashi voice suddenly wasn’t enough. He wanted to see himself what the man was really up to. The look on Kakashi’s unmasked, handsome face just before it changed to surprised one, when Iruka had suddenly turned, was even more confusing. But even if confused, somehow it made Iruka feel really warm inside and a thought that he would have been extremely ashamed and embarrassed of in any other day, surfaced his mind as the most logical thing to do. 

“And so you want to be as much on the edge as possible”, Iruka said and through his long lashes his gaze met Kakashi’s.

Iruka wasn’t sure if there was a nod of some sort before he lowered his face and pushed Kakashi’s hand away, replacing it with his own mouth. He could hear Kakashi gasping, from surprise, from the sensation, Iruka didn’t care. He didn’t know what the page they were on right now was. But he did know that Kakashi was here, caring, trying to help him. And the least he could was to meet him halfway. So instead of letting Kakashi do all the work, Iruka slide the already hard member of Kakashi in and outside of his mouth. 

It had been years since he’d given a head to someone, but by the sounds Kakashi was making, he wasn’t entirely unskilled. Taking Kakashi inside his mouth as far as he could and then scraping the tender skin of his shaft slightly with his teeth as he pulled up and finally giving twirling of tongue and a suck on the tip was getting pleased reaction from Kakashi. At least if the sounds of breaths caught up in the throat and the tightening of his thighs were anything to believe.

Kakashi could only brace himself by grapping Iruka’s shoulder as the other man once again took him to the warm, wet embrace of his mouth. Forcing his hips to not meet on the half way and just fuck that sinfully skilled mouth of Iruka, Kakashi once again swallowed the low moan that was coming from the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or pissed that his body responded this well to Iruka’s touch, but either way, if he soon didn’t call the quits, he would come, and hard, to that delightful mouth. 

And then it came. Iruka managed to relax his throat enough take him all in, his lips circling tightly around the base of the shaft and then he hummed, his throat vibrating around the tip of his erection. For that, Kakashi mind went black and he could feel the tension on his stomach readying to explode. In years to come, Kakashi always remembered to congratulate himself for being able to pull Iruka up then. Mind half blind and limbs shaking, Kakashi pushed the surprised and coughing Iruka on top the pillows. Even with shaky hands, he had no trouble to guide himself between Iruka’s buttock and with one swift push he was all the way in.

Kakashi’s blood almost chilled as Iruka screamed. If he hadn’t been so close to edge and in the mind fucking tight embrace of Iruka’s ass, he would have probably went limp by that sound alone. He had been on the battlefield most of his life and seen people getting hurt by more way that was possible for one human mind to think of. But never had he heard a scream so full of pain and agony that it almost made his heart stop. And never had he been so reluctant to move before. But there was no choice. Trying to block away the pained screams that came beneath him every time he rocked his hips, Kakashi focused to his groin. After all, as soon as he came, Iruka’s suffering would be over.

Iruka tried his best not to scream every time Kakashi moved inside him. It was impossible though. He had never even imagined a pain like this could exist. It was too great to pass out and enough to make you wish you would die already. His insides were in flames and every time Kakashi moved, it felt like someone was ripping and scraping the walls inside his ass, making it impossible to not scream out. The cold sweat was pouring out everywhere on his body and he couldn’t focus on anything else but the pain and wishing it would stop.

When Kakashi heard the pleading sobs beneath the screams, he almost stopped. His body was screaming for a release, but the shaking body under him was ripping his heart out. Not knowing what to do, Kakashi slammed inside Iruka, harder and faster, gaining another scream that killed his soul a little bit more but the friction bringing him slightly more closer to the much needed release. Needing to convince his heart, Kakashi gathered the shaking body of Iruka’s to his arms, hugging him tightly. He snaked his other hand under Iruka’s and the feeling of the other man grapping it, to squeeze his hand against the mattress through his screams somehow helped. With one final push, Kakashi came inside Iruka together with one last pained scream.

Kakashi did not give in to wonderful relaxation that followed orgasm. Instead he hugged the violently shaking and now uncontrollably sobbing Iruka in a full body lock. His legs circled Iruka’s and his hands wiped the sweat wetted hairs off of his face as his lips kissed soothingly the twisting muscles of his neck. It took several minutes before the violent shaking was over and Iruka was even relatively aware of where he was.

“I’m sorry I had to hurt you”, Kakashi said, his voice genuinely full of tenderness, worry and regret, all the emotions his touch and body had already voiced awhile now.

“No…” Iruka said and turned around wincing. The unbearable pain was gone, but the soreness had stayed. He had no doubt that all of it would be gone in few days though. Not feeling courageous enough to face Kakashi, Iruka buried his head to his chest, returning the embrace. “You didn’t hurt me… you healed me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god that ending was cheesy.


End file.
